


Sleepless Night

by astralpenguin



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, I'm Bad At Titles, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Minho is a good friend, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, The Fever Code Spoilers, Thomas Can't Sleep, Unrequited Crush, WICKED ruins everything, bookverse but mostly works with movies too except for one line, but what else is new, mild jealousy, newt doesn't remember thomas, not a happy fic, set before newt's suicide attempt, some things just aren't supposed to be overheard, tbh it's probably barely noticeable but better safe than sorry, thomas hasn't been put in the glade yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralpenguin/pseuds/astralpenguin
Summary: Thomas saw Alby all the time, because his role kept him in the Glade most days. However, Minho and Newt were Runners. They often didn’t get back until just before the Doors closed, and Thomas hadn’t seen them for at least a week.Spying on what they thought was a private conversation didn’t come close to actually talking to them, but it was the only option he had.





	Sleepless Night

**Author's Note:**

> this concept has been floating around in my head for nearly two months now, so a few days ago i sat down and wrote it out in one sitting. i've had it open on my computer since then, occasionally editing it and debating whether or not to post
> 
> well. here it is. i'm sorry

Thomas hated nights like this.

He was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, desperately wishing that he’d go the fuck to sleep already, but being completely unable to do so. The more he told himself to sleep, the more awake he felt.

It was the worst.

He got up and paced around his room, thinking that maybe he could wear himself out enough that he could actually sleep.

It became clear after about half an hour that this wasn’t going to work. Despite his efforts, he just wasn’t tiring.

 _Hey, Teresa?_ He tried, praying that his head wouldn’t hurt too much from this. _Are you awake?_

No response.

Sighing in frustration, he flopped back down onto his bed.

This just wasn’t fair.

He briefly entertained the possibility of bothering Rachel or Aris, but quickly decided against it. He barely knew them, and didn’t think they’d be happy about him doing that.

Thomas swung his legs of the bed and, in one fluid movement, stood upright and flung the door to his room open.

If he wasn’t going to get any sleep, then he didn’t see much point in staying put. He was practically bouncing off the walls, and might as well just go on a longer walk around the base.

It took him less than a minute to start feeling deeply uncomfortable.

During the day, he was either escorted by an adult between the various rooms, or he was with Teresa. He hadn’t been out of his room at night since before his friends were put in the Maze.

Before, he’d walked these halls with Teresa.

He’d walked them with the whole group.

He’d walked them with Newt.

Thomas had never been out at night alone.

He didn’t think he liked it.

He didn’t even realise where he was headed until he found himself staring into the maintenance room where they’d all used to meet up.

He almost wished that he’d stayed in his room after all. He’d take the boredom and frustration over the ache of loneliness in his chest in a heartbeat.

But it was too late for that now.

Carefully, he closed the door. He didn’t want to stay here. All it would do was make him more upset.

It was the middle of the night, so everyone in the Glade would be asleep. But Thomas needed to see them. He needed reassurance that they were okay.

So many people had died already.

None of his friends, not so far, but that could easily change. A lot could’ve happened in the few hours since he’d last been in the observation room.

It didn’t take long to get there, and he didn’t encounter any guards or officials along the way. Even if he had, Thomas didn’t think that they’d have stopped him. He couldn’t sleep so he was going to do something semi-useful. They couldn’t argue with that.

The observation room was empty, but all the screens were on. A few taps on a control pad brought one of the cameras to life - a beetle blade, the boys called it, and who was Thomas to argue - and he started to move it towards the Homestead where the boys would be sleeping.

Movement caught his attention.

Someone was awake.

Trying his hardest not to let whoever it was notice the beetle blade, Thomas followed him as he walked across the Glade.

The boy was headed towards the woods.

No, not quite.

He was headed towards another boy, who was sitting against a tree at the edge of the woods.

He was headed towards _Newt._

“Can’t sleep?” said the boy that Thomas had been following.

“Hey Minho,” Newt said in lieu of a response.

Minho sat on the ground next to him. “You’ve got to at least try, you know. You need the energy.”

“I’ve been trying for three hours,” said Newt, a small smile on his face. “I figured it was time to give up.”

Slowly, so that it wouldn’t be seen or heard, Thomas moved the beetle blade to a better angle so he could see his friends’ faces clearer.

Thomas saw Alby all the time, because his role kept him in the Glade most days. However, Minho and Newt were Runners. They often didn’t get back until just before the Doors closed, and Thomas hadn’t seen them for at least a week.

He’d missed them.

He still did.

Spying on what they thought was a private conversation didn’t come close to actually talking to them, but it was the only option he had.

They looked good. Healthy, even. They weren’t injured, and were getting enough to eat. Thomas was glad about that.

“Give up?” said Minho. “I didn’t know you had it in you to do that.”

Newt’s smile widened. “You’re getting me mixed up with you. Believe it or not, we’re not actually the same person.”

Minho tilted his head. “I don’t know, we’ve said the same thing at the same time enough that even _I’m_ starting to believe Dmitri when he says that we are.”

Newt raised an eyebrow.

“No,” said Minho, “you’re right. We can’t possibly be the same person. I’m way hotter than you.”

Newt laughed and pushed Minho’s side, not quite hard enough for him to topple over.

Thomas frowned. He didn’t think it was _that_ funny.

Unless he’d missed an inside joke between them. Then Newt’s amusement would make more sense.

He’d missed out on a lot, being separated from his friends for so long.

Once Newt had stopped laughing, he rested his head on Minho’s shoulder and sighed. “You just keep telling yourself that muscly arms will make everyone fall for you.”

Minho nodded, a serious expression on his face. “They will, I swear. The Greenie hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off me.”

“You’re deluded, mate.”

“Am not.”

“Are too, and let’s not get stuck in a loop.”

“Fine.”

They fell silent.

For a few minutes, that’s how they remained. Newt and Minho sitting up against a tree, looking over the rest of the Glade, and Thomas watching them through a small camera.

Newt looked really pretty in the dim light of the Glade at night. Though, to be honest, he looked pretty all the time. It wasn’t the first time that Thomas had thought something like this, so it didn’t surprise him. Sure, objectively speaking, Minho _was_ the hotter of the two, but Thomas knew that he could look at Newt all hours of the day and never get tired.

“Hey, Minho?”

“Yeah?”

“Shouldn’t _you_ be asleep?”

“Eh, probably. But I’m not gonna sleep until you do, so you’re stuck with me.”

Newt smiled. “And you with me.”

“Until the end of time,” added Minho.

“Good that.” Newt wrapped an arm around Minho’s waist and shuffled closer. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course,” said Minho. “What’s up?”

“It’s Alby.”

Minho sighed. “What’s that shuckface done now.”

“Hey,” Newt gently admonished. “That’s no way to talk about your friend.”

“You’ve got to admit he can be really rude sometimes. My comment is justified.”

“Well,” said Newt, “he hasn’t done anything.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

Newt clenched his eyes shut for a second, before opening them and saying something. Thomas tried as hard as he could to decipher the words, but they were so garbled that he didn’t have a chance at doing so.

If his face was anything to go by, Minho had had much the same problem, and _he_ was sitting a lot closer to Newt than Thomas was.

“Could you try again? In English this time?”

Newt huffed a breath of laughter and said, slowly, “I think I might have a crush on him.”

Thomas felt a pit open in his stomach.

“You do?” said Minho. “Newt, that’s great! You and Alby would be brilliant together.”

Newt shook his head, his hair getting messed up where it was trapped between his head and Minho’s shoulder. “He doesn’t like me back.”

“Then he’s a moron.”

Despite the way that this entire conversation felt like a punch to the gut, Thomas found himself agreeing wholeheartedly with that statement.

“No he isn’t.”

“I mean it, Newt. You’re great. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Newt shrugged. “Doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t see me that way. And I didn’t tell you about this so you could go confront him about it, so don’t.”

“I wasn’t going to,” said Minho, his voice far too even to be natural.

“I’m serious!”

“Okay!” Minho held up the hand not currently trapped by Newt up in surrender. “I promise I won’t talk to him about this. And I’ll try not to act different around him either.”

“Thank you.”

“If I’m not allowed to do anything to help, then why did you tell me?”

“You’re helping just by listening. You’re my best friend, and I trust you, and I needed to talk to someone about this. And that wasn’t the only thing, anyway.”

Minho turned his head to look at the top of Newt’s head. “What else is there?”

Newt smiled sadly. “I don’t even know if I can explain it fully. But it’s like....” he trailed off, thinking.

Minho said nothing, probably so Newt was free to think. Thomas waited with baited breath, sure that even if the evacuation alarm sounded, he wouldn’t be moving from this spot until he’d heard what Newt had to say.

“It’s like guilt,” Newt eventually settled on. “Whenever I think about how I like Alby, something just feels really wrong, like I’m guilty about something. But I don’t know why. There’s nothing to be guilty about, but I feel it anyway.” He sighed. “It’s getting on my buggin’ nerves.”

“Maybe you you liked someone else before we were all sent here, and that’s why there’s guilt now?”

Newt shook his head. “If I did, it doesn’t matter. I don’t remember them if they exist. It shouldn’t be affecting me now.” His voice was starting to crack slightly. “I just want it to stop.”

“Hey,” said Minho, pulling away so he could look Newt in the eye. “Listen to me. Feelings are messy. Maybe it’s something to do with before the Glade. Maybe it’s just you freaking out about having a crush on your friend. Maybe it’s just your shucked up brain being weird.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“Shush. What I’m saying is we have no way of knowing why you’re feeling like this, and we can only hope that it’ll go away at some point. Until it does, and even after it does, I’m here for you. If you ever need to talk or rant or whatever. You got that?”

“Yeah, Minho. Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Thomas had heard enough.

He put the beetle blade he was using back on automatic, letting it run off to wherever it wanted to go, and left the observation room.

As he wandered back to his room he thought over what he’d overheard.

Newt had a crush on Alby.

Thomas almost felt sick thinking about it, but when he detached his own feelings from the situation, he had to admit that it made sense. They were good friends, were both natural leaders (not that Newt would ever admit it), and spent a lot of time together. It honestly wasn’t all that surprising that feelings had developed further.

It sucked for Newt that Alby didn’t feel the same. It was Alby’s loss, really. Newt was amazing, and, in Thomas’ opinion, anyone who turned him down would have to be both deaf and blind to not notice what was right in front of them.

But why did the idea of Newt liking Alby bother him so much?

It wasn’t until Thomas reached the door to his room that he figured it out.

He froze with his hand on the door, ready to push it open.

God-fucking-dammit.

The reason why he felt so terrible when thinking about Newt’s crush on Alby, was because _he_ had a crush on Newt.

Newt who didn’t even know he existed anymore.

If Minho’s original assumption had been right, and Newt’s guilt over his crush was because he’d liked someone else before, then had that person been...?

Shit.

Thinking back over his interactions with Newt, they’d definitely liked each other. Maybe, with more time together and the opportunity to get a little older, something could’ve been pursued between them.

But WICKED had taken that chance away.

And how many other relationships, both romantic and otherwise, had WICKED destroyed?

Too damn many.

Thomas only just managed to restrain himself from slamming his door open. Instead, he carefully pushed on it and slipped inside, before getting under the covers of his bed and pulling them tight around him.

If an official looked in his room now, they’d think he’d never left.

Thomas liked Newt. Newt didn’t know that Thomas existed, and liked Alby, but felt terrible about it. Possibly because the Swipe hadn’t managed to erase absolutely everything from his mind? That wasn’t supposed to be possible, but Thomas couldn’t help but think that it was his fault that Newt was upset. And Alby didn’t even like Newt back.

If Thomas knew one thing for certain, it was that no matter what it took, he would make sure that, one day, he would meet Newt all over again.

They may not ever be able to regain what they’d once had, but Newt would at least know that he existed.

And that was okay.

That would have to be enough.

After all, it was all he was going to get.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments make me really happy !!!
> 
> my askbox is always open [X](http://astralpenguin.tumblr.com/)


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